9 Things Comics Have Done Right That I Will Cherish Forever

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Feelin’ a little nostalgic tonight… maybe because my tumblr dash is dead and I can only watch so many WhatCulture videos on youtube before I croak OR maybe because Stranger Things 2 was pretty good but eh I WANTED MORE but I’ve decided to make a post of stuff comics have done RIGHT.

You can pry these movies, shows and what have yous from my cold, dead hands.

IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER, HERE ARE 9 THINGS COMICS HAVE DONE RIGHT THAT I WILL CHERISH FOREVER

Batman The Animated Series

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My introduction to comic and superhero BADASSERY (sorry, spider-man) this show was

THE

BEST

The episodes were engaging (detective bruce!), hilarious, frighteningsad, movingdisturbing like, h o w? The animation was super unique at the time, THAT OPENING IS STILL LEGENDARY, Mark Hamill and Kevin Conroy are so unbelievably good, that rogues gallery was as complex and varied as any COMIC universe let alone a single characters universe. No matter what, I can ALWAYS come back to this show.

Daredevil (Netflix)

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I lost my damn mind when this premiered. I’d mentioned in an older post that I grew up watching every superhero cartoon made pre-about-2000 so all these superhero movies coming out at the time were not new to me, I knew everything there was to know about all of them. But THIS was new. The show was brutal, violent, it was like nothing Marvel had done to that point, literally. He was a street level hero, which I LOVE, and it showed what would freakin’ happen if a dude got into fist fights and fell from freakin’ buildings and stuff, yeah that’s right HE’D PRACTICALLY DIE. Also people speaking their native languages is everything to me. And I watched “Cut Man” every night before bed for like 2 weeks. We’re ignoring season 2 except for all the wonderful Punisher interactions.

Superman (1978) and John William’s Superman theme

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Christopher Reeves was the perfect Superman, absolutely perfect. He was charming, dorky, imposing and awkward, the perfect blend of Clark and Supes. It STILL holds up, even today AND YOU REALLY BELIEVE A MAN CAN FLYYYYYY *loses it*

A N D  T H E  T H E M E will get you through anything, seriously go, right now, and blast that MF and I dare you to not hold your head a little higher.

The Avengers (2012)

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OK BUT THIS MOVIE WAS THE CULMINATION OF MY CHILDHOOD HOPES AND DREAMS AND I GOT TO SEE IT HAPPEN, GUYS! IT HAPPENED IN MY LIFETIME AND IT WAS SOOOOO GOOD! I SAW IT THIRTEEN TIMES IN THEATERS AND SOMEHOW IT WAS JUST AS GOOD EVERY FLOOBIN TIME! LIKE THEY’RE ALL REEEEEEEAL I’M STILL NOT OVER IT PLUS THE UNBELIEVABLE EXCITEMENT WHEN WE STARTED TO SEE “STARK INDUSTRIES” CREEP INTO THE OTHER FILMS, THEN NAMES WERE BEING THROWN AROUND IN EACH OTHER’S MOVIES THEN FURY SAID “THE AVENGERS INITIATIVE” AND I KNOW WHAT IT’S LIKE FOR YOUR DREAMS TO COME TRUE THAT IS ALL

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Action Comics #1

Action Comics No. 1 Introducing Superman

I mean just LOOK AT IT. Full color cover, 1938 America, like HOT DAMN. This started it ALL, everything we know about superheroes started with this guy, with this unbelievably powerful image.

Spider-Man (1994-1998)

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Now THIS show was my introduction to comics. Every freakin character was on this show; the Punisher, Ironman, Daredevil, the fantastic 4, Captain America, the x-men, Nick Fury, Dr. Strange, War Machine, and of course all of spidey’s awesome villains got their own ep if not their own 2-3 episode arch. ALSO VENOM AND CARNAGE BRO. I cannot BELIEVE I can’t get this stupid show on DVD AND NOW THERE’S A N O T H E R DAMN CARTOON WITH THE SAME NAME MAKING IT EVEN HARDER TO FIND STUFF FROM THIS ORIGINAL SHOW.

Spider-Man 2 (2014)

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I will n e v e r forget the trailer for this movie. There was a show on E! that premiered new trailers and I would watch it like an inch from the screen. I remember watching the premiere on the teeny weeny tv we had in our kitchen. It started with Peter and Mary Jane talking about some romance sh*t when a F*CKING car flies through the window. After the smoke clears we hear this booming, like huge, heavy footsteps coming closer. THEN WE SEE THE MOST RECOGNIZABLE THING ANY SPIDEY FAN WOULD KNOW; THE HEAVY LANDING OF DOC OCS TENTACLES. I screamed and the rest of the trailer became irrelevant. That thrill was unlike anything I had experienced in my life because DOC OC WAS GOING TO BE IN THE NEXT SPIDER-MAN MOVIE, SPIDER-MAN WAS GOING TO FIGHT DOC OC FOR REAL. It was a huge, huge, HUUUUUGE freakin’ deal. It still is, let’s be honest. OH YEAH AND THE MOVIE WAS INCREDIBLE.

Robin

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I love Robin.

Deadpool (2016)

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It’s probably one of my favorite movies too.

LC

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News! DC and Marvel Comics

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>NEW JUSTICE LEAGUE TRAILER<

Well um, uuuhhh… I mean, duh it looks badass but like, there’s soooo much going on? You get lost in the million cuts of explosions and “superhero landings”. What’s the PLOT??

OH you’re gonna explain, good.

So what looks like Ares (though he was killed right?) drops in the middle of Themyscira and he’s such a threat apparently the justice league have to get together and stop him. I do like this because what else would drag Aquaman out of the sea? If he’s anything like his comic counterpart, Atlantis must be at stake somehow for him to give a shit. This villain must pose a real threat to the whole world. Also I like that Barry is like, I’ve never done this before?? I only push people and run away! That’ll be fun. (also a thousand bucks says that’s Superman talking to Alfred *eyeroll emoji*)

>THE DEFENDERS TRAILER<

HOLY GUACAMOLE!

While I liked Jessica Jones and Luke Cage, nope I haven’t even seen Iron Fist because NOPE I feel like they’re all gonna be a lot stronger together (pun intended?? Wahaha!) Brother and sister banter Matt and Jessica is gonna be GREAT! I’m so, so excited for this!

(Also, did they purposely make Weaver look lie Princess Leia? hmm.)

>MARK WAID/CHRIS SAMNEE TAKING OVER CAPTAIN AMERICA COMIC<

UM YES PLEASE?!

I haven’t been to my local comic book store in months (welp, one because I was away from a month and a half BUT STILL) because there’s just nothing I wanna buy. I bought out all the Nightwing stuff he’s got, all the Batman books I really WANT as apposed to the titles I just wanna read, so at this point I go in for issues not books. BUT NOW I HAVE A REASON TO RETURN YAY!

The Infinity War trailer leaked, we got 2 seconds of Bucky and that’s all I care about.

Literally.

HAPPY TUESDAY!

LC

Spider-Man: Homecoming… Pretty Much What I Thought It was Gonna Be

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Well, sort of.

As always, here are some pros but with one big con.

And so I don’t blow my own brains out, I’m gonna start with the terrible, horrible, no-good, very bad con AND END WITH THE HAPPY PROS YAY!

Spoilers to follow

TOO

MUCH

TONY

F***ING

STARK

My old argument from Civil War still applies to this movie. I’m sorry, since when is Tony Stark a father figure to Peter? If ANYONE is Peter’s go-to, it’s Steve Rogers.

During Civil War, Spidey reveals his secret identity to the world. Then he goes to Cap for advise when everything kinda goes to shit.

Then he says his famous “you move” speech

and Peter’s like damn.

THIS COULD HAVE BEEN THE COOLEST THING EVER BUT NO NO HE’S GONNA FANBOY OVER RDJ– OH I MEAN TONY.

*growls* Tony.

THINGS THAT WERE NOT F***ING OK

  • Tony comes up with “friendly neighborhood Spider-man”
  • Tony’s voice guides Peter NOT Ben Parker (who’s never mentioned DID WE FORGET THE BASICS, KIDS? NEVER MESS WITH THE ORIGIN STORY, JUST DON’T)
  • Tony makes Peter’s suit (WRONG Peter is super smart and does it himself! At least they had him making his own webs though)

And don’t you dare try and tell me RDJ doesn’t have a say because HE DOES. I mean… why is he being written into every movie? Why is RDJ constantly promoting the latest Marvel whatever? Why is he always sharing Marvel memes on his FB?

Cuz he makes dat money.

It’s that simple.

and then I go on a long rant about Hollywood, huh where’d that come from.

Continue reading

Captain America: Civil War… mm. (Pt. 2)

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Captain America: Civil War spoilers to follow.

BUCKY AND HIS FATE IN THE MCU

Just recently, there was a huge backlash on tumblr with The Russo’s when they said Bucky was being “punished” by going back into cryo for his doings as the winter soldier, and that he was guilty. You only have to watch the film to know that’s complete and utter bullshit. Because they also said this, so which is the truth? How about what’s on screen. BUCKY feels guilty, the CHARACTER Bucky feels guilty and maybe for him this is kind of a punishment. (Seb’s thoughts)

WHY PUTTING BUCKY BACK INTO CRYO WAS NOT THE END OF THE WORLD

The entire issue of Civil War can be boiled down to just one word; choice. According to Steve, the accords would take away the Avenger’s ability to choose their battles (“what if there’s somewhere we need to go and they won’t let us?”), and for Tony, the accords will keep them on the straight and narrow (their work is someone else’s choice, it’ll be up to someone else to decide what’s good and bad) therefore shifting the blame and opening up the consequences of future events for debate. Wanda was also experimented on, she was also used for evil means, she was misled but was still allowed a spot on the new Avengers. (BTW, WTF is that about??) She’s put on lockdown *for her own good* by Tony (enforced by Vision) and her breakthrough moment is when, wait for it… she chooses to leave with Clint. (“I can’t control their fear, only my own.”) Now let’s look at Bucky.

The film literally opens with Bucky being tortured and then used.

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Later in the film, he’s used as a punching bag for other winter soldiers. Bucky is triggered by Zemo and when he snaps out of it, he says “I knew this would happen.” On the jet, Steve tries to tell him he didn’t have a choice, which Bucky acknowledges but he still did it. Bucky’s decision to go back into cryo was the best thing we could have wished for that was plausible in the MCU.

First off, Bucky chose this, his first personal choice in 70 years in regards to his own life, for not only the sake of these people who helped him and Steve, but for himself. Steve asks him, “Are you sure about this?”… whether Bucky suggested it or even T’Challa, options were most likely talked about and discussed. Bucky thought, this is what I want to do. That’s HUGE and quite frankly beautiful. As much as we all wanted Bucky and Steve to run away to the Bahamas and be happy together, let’s be real. The words “allow Barnes the dignity of his choice” must not have been lost on Steve in this moment. It sucks, but would you have preferred Bucky stay locked in Steve’s apartment, unable to do anything? Or on the run, like Banner, where Ross or Tony or AIM heh heh could find him? Constantly living in fear, looking over his shoulder like he’s been doing for the last two years? Or would you rather have him be under the protection of a king? A complete badass like T’challa? Bucky says “Until they figure out how to get this stuff outta my head, I think going under is the best thing”. After watching the film for a second time, I’m really fine with this.

FINAL THOUGHTS

I don’t blame Markus, McFeely, or either Russos, I really don’t. What people don’t understand about “hollywood” is the old system hasn’t changed. You can have the best talent for a film ever but the final say is always with the studio, always. And no I don’t mean, Marvel, I mean DISNEY. Marvel is not as independent as they were and it shows. And in this case, Disney has proven once again what a bunch of cowards they are. Two guys throwing the word LOVE around just like that? OH NO THROW A GIRL IN THERE, KISS, KISS! Whew, ok we’re good. Who cares about representation! Who cares about continuity! Everyone’s favorite diva needs more screen time! He’ll bring in MILLIONS, GET HIM IN THERE!

*huff huff*

So did I like it? I guess overall I did not. What was good was SOOO GOOD what was bad was unbearable. The only thing that helps me personally is that Sebastian Stan has been confirmed for Infinity War, which Markus/McFeely and The Russo’s are all working on. Chris Evan’s contract isn’t up yet, neither is Anthony Mackie’s, and the Marvel universe is continuing to expand. I will always love superheroes and I will go see these movies until they decide to stop making them because it’s in my blood. But unfortunately, studios are still studios. It’s too bad they missed the ball so badly with Cap 3, it really is.

LC

Captain America: Civil War, … mm. (Pt 1)

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Jeez louise.

All my friends know what a fangirl I am. I have to go to the bank everyday for my job, therefore all the tellers are like, “Are you going to see the movie??” HELL YEAH! But once they ask me, “What did you think?” I have a super hard time answering.

Major spoilers for Captain America: Civil War to follow.

Let’s start off nice and easy.

WHY IT WAS GOOD

First off, Sebastian Stan. Because the film came out everywhere before it was released in the US *grumble grumble* reviews were coming out of everyone’s noses for weeks. People were divided over #TeamCap and #TeamIronman but the overall consensus was how Seb truly mastered this role. It’s evident from the various heart-breaking and soul crushing gif-sets good old tumblr is churning out to see the incredible film comparisons of The Winter Soldiers WS, to Civil War Bucky, To TWS’s “But I knew him” Bucky to, flashback Civil War dead-eyed WS. This is ONE CHARACTER that Seb has managed to play at least eight different ways since The First Avenger. Seb’s and the film’s creative team’s obvious love and interest for the character was clear.

Second, I have never seen Cap be so Cap. I’m no expert on the character, but I do know that people in the 1940’s cursed regularly and veterans, even more so *cough cough throwing some shade*. Sharon’s quote from Peggy (“No, you move.”) was actually said by Steve and totally sums him up. When Cap thinks something is wrong, the entire universe could tell him otherwise and he still won’t budge. His moral compass and strategic mind define him as a great leader. In the case of Bucky, Cap is immovable because Bucky was robbed of his ability to chose (why does this sound familiar? the accords will take away the avenger’s right to chose!) therefore he is not responsible for his actions (which is why I believe Steve WOULD be a-ok with Bucky going back into cryo. more on that later). Let’s not forget that by this point in MCU continuity, nearly everyone in Cap’s new life has lied to him; Nick Fury, SHIELD, Natasha, Sharon (“Kate”) and now Tony (Wanda being ‘locked up’ in Avengers tower or the penthouse, whatever). Agenda’s change, and Cap would not run headfirst into this thing just because Tony said so. The last remnant of his life, Peggy Carter, has just died. The only good thing you could argue he’s got is Sam. You bet he’d drop everything to find and help Bucky again, not only his best friend, but his tortured and hurt best friend, especially over some made up “friendship” with Tony.

Third, that last scene (‘Stay down. Final warning.’ ‘I can do this all day.’) with Cap beating the crap out of IM’s face was brutal and absolutely AWESOME. Not because I hate Ironman or anything but because helloooo Steve’s dark side. Cap has the strength to punch IM’s helmet into pieces and the look on RDJ’s face was terrifying (way to go, man). You can see him thinking, “Is Steve going to kill me?”. Up until this point, including in Ultron,  it’s obvious Tony doesn’t think much of Steve (FIGHT ME ON THIS) and Tony has an air about him that he is the best. He’s the “father” of the team, looking out for everyone including Steve. A level of respect is there for sure, but they don’t feel like equals at all. In this final fight scene, Tony finally sees Steve is dangerous and very powerful. To be frank, don’t f*ck with Steve. I strongly feel this was the turning point in their MCU relationship. Nothing will be the same now. I applaud Markus/McFeely for pulling this off after having nothing but snide jokes to work off of.

WHY IT SUCKED

My major disappointment and overall feeling of this film can be summed up like so: Ironman 4.

At first I laughed at that joke someone posted (as well as this one). But after seeing the movie, it’s so true. I’d made a post in 2014, when RDJ was announced to have a role in the film, about how I felt he would take it over and Steve and Bucky’s story would be a side note. Even though I wished otherwise, I was not wrong.

As I sat in the midnight showing, all I kept thinking was, why am I watching Tony speak to Peter? Why am I watching Tony speaking to Ross? Why am I watching Tony cry over his parents? Why and I watching Tony in a plane by himself? Why am I watching Tony speak to Ross AGAIN? WHY HELLO THERE, IRONMAN 4, I HAVE BEEN HOODWINKED INTO THINKING THIS WAS CAP 3! If these kinds of articles are true, it just makes my blood boil, and based off purely what I’ve seen, it sounds pretty plausible.

Here’s major conflict No. 1: I love RDJ, if I were to ever meet him, I’d cry in his face about Chaplin and how that film is perfect and HE was perfect especially for pulling it off during such a tough time in his life. In here we find out RDJ offered to help Chris when he hurt himself on set. I also read RDJ negotiated his costars ALSO get a raise for Avengers, not just him. So it’s SO ANNOYING THAT for a long time, RDJ has been boasting he *is* Tony Stark. Whether he’s playing this out or really believes it, it’s kinda childish and annoying at this point. You are a grown man, enough. Every MCU film does not need to include you or Ironman. There’s also this bullsh*t that “actors need to act” (IE Benedict Cumberbatch playing Doctor Strange, he’s gotta work! he can’t say no!) they can turn down these roles, they can say enough, ESPECIALLY RDJ who apparently is worth $150K. But I suppose getting paid is more important that what your fans think.

The bitter truth is a film studio is a film studio; if a project makes money, you bet your ass we’re getting 10 sequels. And RDJ’s obnoxious characterization of Tony Stark being so horribly loved by the public is just salt in the wound (Tony Stark is NOT MCU Tony Stark by a long shot. Seriously, if you don’t believe me, I will be more than happy to point you in the right direction as to WHY.)

ALSO…

As a film by itself, it was really great, up there with the original Ironman. As an Avengers film. Clint Barton was more Clint Barton than ever. Natasha was given agency and her own point of view which changed as the film went on (characterization? wHAT??) Daniel Bruhl was a better villain than Ultron, Chadwick Boseman as Black Panther/T’Challa was breathtaking (thank god he’s already set to get his own film), Paul Rudd was hilarious but more importantly, everyone felt useful. No character was present for “sh*ts and giggles* well maybe spider-man but ehhh they were setting up his film I guess everyone had a part to play however small, and that’s how you do an ensemble piece.

As a film with Captain America’s name in the title, however, HUGE hit and a miss. Cap’s scenes were painfully short and the ones with Bucky even more so (which were apparently CUT DOWN ). My good old mom watched The First Avenger and The Winter Soldier over the course of a couple days just after the film came out with my sister and I. Even SHE, not knowing a THING about the comics, was like, “Porque esta la plancha ayi? Ya encontro a su amigo!” Translation: Why is the iron there? [Cap] just found his best friend! She came to this marvelous conclusion based solely on the first two Cap films.

END OF PART ONE, INTERMISSION

(part two)

LC

BvS: It Wasn’t As Bad As You’ve Read, Go Out and See it Yourself

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Spoilers for Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice.

DO NOT, I REPEAT, DO NOT, LISTEN TO CRITICS ON THIS ONE, PLEASE. I beg of you to go out and just see it yourself. There is a horrific bias going around on nearly every review I’ve seen, I can’t even get through some of them. It’s obvious this movie was made for geeks, not necessarily film buffs and I think that’s what’s annoying all these “critics”. It’s completely unfair that this film is being compared to the last eight years of the Marvel cinematic universe, which let’s be honest, the only golden child they ever produced being The Winter Soldier (fight me on this) and maybe the original Iron Man.

PROS AND CONS

PROS:

  • BATMAN’S FIGHTING: When he punches that guy right into the floor??!! Also his creepy ass stealth. When we first see the costume, he’s crouched in the corner of the room them dives into the shadows. I’ve NEVER felt creeped out by the Bat, EVER, until that moment
  • They made Lex a genius again albeit a crazy one, AND he was still funny, no doubt paying homage to Gene Hackman’s portrayal
  • Bruce uses a device that changes his voice. I feel like he would have done that from the beginning? *coughbalecough*
  • The Flash yelling at Bruce “You were right about him!” Right about who? WHO??? AAGGHHH SO GOOD
  • Wonder Woman. Just, Wonder Woman is real, guys, she’s real. And she looks indestructible.

CONS:

  • Maybe I need to watch it again, but why does Lex want to kill Batman again? I get wanting to take Superman down but did I miss something?
  • No Robin mention. Just the exact shot we got in the trailer. No line from Alfred or a glance just… nothing. That was a bummer.
  • No end credits scene. I wonder if they’ll stay clear of that to differentiate themselves from Marvel?

~~

BvS is based loosely on Frank Miller’s The Dark Knight Returns. For example:

  • Batman uses guns *gasp*
  • He’s an older Batman
  • There’s lots of media debate on the actions of Superman (Neil Degrasse Tyson cameo!!!)
  • There’s even a shot of a “vaporized” Superman
  • And of course the big fight between man and god

It’s not a complete retelling of the graphic novel WHICH IS FINE BY ME. This blogger is not a Frank Miller fan because his blatant dislike of Superman “allows” him to write Supes as a one dimensional boy scout which is infuriating (whether he’s “joking” or not, he wrote the damn story and now fanboys are all over it). I could go on and on about this but that’s a separate post all in itself…

This film did an even better job at hinting at the extended universe than any Marvel film. The idea of other “meta-humans” being out there, is on Bruce’s mind even though he’s dealing with this Superman thing. It comes up at the beginning with Lex’s file and his sharing of it with Diana, Bruce has that “vision” of the Flash, and at the end, he tells Diana that they must find these meta-humans. It wasn’t just a scene at the end of the credits, or a blink and you’ll miss it cameo, it was ingrained in the film itself and promised that great things are coming. They managed to do that and keep the film centered on Batman and Superman.

Something that really tickled my fancy was that Chris Terrio and David Goyer brought up Martha (Kent and Wayne) as a really important factor in both these men’s lives, because it is. Bruce’s mother was killed in front of his eyes, it’s something still very potent and real in even this aging Batman’s mind. Bruce is on his fourth Robin in this comic.

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It’s also canon that Bruce visits crime alley (where his parents were murdered) every year.

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Like the killing of Uncle Ben with Spider-man, some moments drive a character. This murder laid the groundwork for Bruce’s entire adult life and the creation of the Batman. The word Martha triggers something deep and personal in Bruce.

In the film, Clark goes to his mother for advice. Even if you haven’t seen Man of Steel, you can easily assume that Clark, this alien who probably grew up struggling with his powers, being different, being lonely, would have a wonderful relationship with his adoptive mother. She is his link to the human world. You could argue that Lois is too but Martha raised him, despite the fact that he was different, even dangerous.

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So there was something truly terrible and frightening in Lex having kidnapped her (that LOOK in Cavill’s eyes was incredible).

When Bruce is about to kill Clark, he gasped out Martha’s name. Clark is trying to appeal to Bruce’s mercy (I’m being BLACKMAILED help me!) while Bruce is figuratively bitch-smacked with that name (How could he know? How could he know about her?? HOW??) and as this wonderful blogger noted, Bruce realizes Clark is not a monster, he’s not so detached that he has no feeling. He has a human mother. The whole basis of this “war” is that Superman is a god, he’s untouchable, out of mortal reach and especially, control. And in this moment, Bruce realizes he can trust him because of his desire to rescue this mortal woman, his Earth mother. It’s spectacular.

Gal Gadot is breathtaking and owns that final battle (Though what was with that blast coming out of her bracelets?) who DIDN’T wanna see her cut doomsday in half?! They threw the lasso in there, hell yeah, her costume looks great, more dialogue would have been great but she’s getting her own film and no doubt subsequent cameos in future films SO THAT’S SOMETHING!

I L O V E D this film, I truly did. I was worried they’d rush the introduction of all these new characters but instead we got really exciting glimpses into what we will eventually be seeing. I grew up watching Batman The Animated Series and therefore Kevin Conroy is and always will be my Batman. But Ben Affleck did perfectly in portraying what we in the batcave are referring to as Daddy!bat (aka older, father figure Bruce. Stop with those dirty thoughts, internet). Keaton, Clooney, Kilmer and Bale really don’t come close.

GO SEE IT PLEASE!

LC

Deadpool: What a Time to Be F****ing Alive

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You know what I want? I wish I could be watching Deadpool a third time instead of sitting on my butt at home typin’ this up. Because it was everything we could have wanted… *whispers* and mooooore

[Trigger warnings for Deadpool include: language, full frontal nudity, violence, gore, mutilation, torture, mentions of rape, pedophilia, past abuse]

This post has major spoilers and a lot of language. LET’S BEGIN!


How good does this trailer look? Doesn’t it look fucking hilarious? IT DOESN’T EVEN TOUCH THE FUCKIN’ FILM GUYS

Bullet points are our friends and make thing so much easier to read.

  • The opening “credits” set the tone for the film. A slow motion move within the utter chaos of a van in mid flip, full of cronies and Deadpool himself, complete with crotchshot. And the credits themselves? ‘Starring God’s Perfect Idiot, A Hot Chick, Comic Relief, then Written by The Real Heroes Here.’ ALREADY, you’re laughing your ass off for all the right reasons.
  • Even though Wade narrates through some of the film, they don’t forget that film is visual. It “reads” like a comic book. No bubbles stuffed with paragraphs of exposition and no paragraphs of boring ass dialogue. It balances the tragedy and hilarity that is Deadpool.
  • The fight scenes were kick ASS. They’re brutal and fucking hypnotic. Yeah Wade is a smart mouth and ass but oh yeah, HE’S HELLA GOOD AT KILLING YOUR ASS. The end fight with Ajax FUCKING francis will have you on the edge of your seat, especially knowing it’s super likely you’re about to see someone get their limb actually cut off.
  • Vanessa and Wade’s story is probably the most heart warming love story I’ve seen on film ever. In ANY genre. They bond over their terrible childhoods and the fact that they love having sex with each other. You see them fall in love and the sparklies in Wade’s eyes as he looks at Vanessa are wonderful to watch. Later, it’s heartbreaking when Wade just can’t face her with his mutilated face. She’ll love you anyway, Wade! GO TO HER! And when he does face her again, the tears were real, man. A healthy, sex drenched, foul mouthed relationship is the backbone and driving force of this film ❤
  • (“After a brief period, and a lot of drinks… it’s a face… I would love to sit on.” WHO’S HEART DIDN’T MELT WITH HAPPINESS?!? It was their version of “I don’t care what you look like, I love you.” It’s my favorite line in the movie.)
  • Fucking. FRANCIS. Fucking Francis. What a proper douche. What he does to Wade, with such glee by the way, is awful. The torture will make you wince and the fact that this is not a dumb villain, he gets his hands dirty multiple times but always slips away, is maddening. You’re SCREAMING at Wade to break his ass.
  • (When Wade says about Francis, “I’m gonna shoot him in the head then fuck the brain hole.” Trust me when I say, you will think, ‘you do that sir, you do that.’)
  • The soundtrack was hilarious and so painfully appropriate for Deadpool. Listen for his “theme song” in the middle of the film when he’s chasing down Francis’ cronies. I need that song in my LIFE.

What’s super great about this film is it can stand alone. Even if you’ve never read a DP comic in your life, you don’t need to, at all. If anything, this film will make you pick one up. This is the comic book movie for people who hate comic book movies. And love wise cracking gratuitous violence. 69/10 😉

ALSO watch and read all that promotional shit. all of it.

LC

Jessica Jones: IT’S HAPPENING STAY CALM

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[Spoilers for Jessica Jones]

HERE IT IS

I’d posted before about Supergirl and while I am generally excited for that show, JJ is waaay more my cup of iced tea. I don’t know the extent of what Jessica can do (my Marvel Unlimited account expired before I could start reading her books thoroughly… I ain’t made of money…) BUT THAT’S OK- this trailer is quite the tease (in a good way!) because I want moooore.

I don’t like you. Let me help you OUT.

JJ3

ALREADY this intro. Doesn’t this reek slightly alcoholic going-at-it-alone stereotypical MALE vigilante?? WELL IT’S OUR TURN, BITCHES.

JJ2

SUPERPOWERS!

Jessica comes across as violent, charming, reclusive and paranoid. She’s being stalked (mentally and physically) by the purple man, a manipulative rapist turned spy (oh, joy) who has the power to control minds. (David Tennant is going to OWN. THIS ROLE.)

DO MY BIDDING

DO MY BIDDING

Creepy stuff. And given Jessica comes off as a woman trying to move past her old life that TPM apparently knows a bit about (having had a hand in it), that trick of his might be a real problem. And from the looks of it, he likes to manipulate women. Oh HELL no.

I am weary about the possible backlash against Tennant or even Marvel for this character. I don’t know how accurate they’ll be (and I’m not talking will Tennant be walking around with purple skin and hair) but a couple NY comic-con goers did confirm the show will not shy away from rape culture and its consequences. As Krysten Ritter herself said, the relationship between Jones and TPM is “quite sickening”. It’s also the most explicitly sexual show or movie Marvel’s ever made.

I say it’s about DAMN time.

Ever since someone thought to sell a compilation of newspaper comic strips in book form, “comic books” were considered 10 cent trash for kids. But the last eighty years of award winning books and graphic novels have so proven otherwise. Stories about human trafficking, war, abuse, sex, drugs, violence and rape have been in comics for years (yes, even in the bigger titles) but since real life couldn’t be marketed on a Denny’s menu or during the Superbowl, these topics were never up for discussion and debate outside of support groups and book clubs let alone via a popular cultural medium like the comic book movie. It really is a brilliant time for sites like Netflix to be around to put on these shows (not even comics related but have you SEEN Sense8? it’s on Netflix, GO!) because we’re sick of the same red white and blue recycled bullshit.

In my mind, the MCU is really going the same route the comics industry did. They released a couple of titles and they did great (the introduction of Superman (1938), Batman (1939) and Wonder Woman (1941) vs. Superman the Movie (1978) Spider-man (2002) X2 (2003)). They released even more that did ok and some flopped (Golden age of comics and it’s eventual withering out vs. Fantastic Four, Spider-man 3, Justice League, Batman The Animated Series). Then they released a big title and people went nuts. (The Incredible Hulk/Spider-Man (1960s) vs. Ironman (2008)) But it got too commercialized and people’s interest started to waver (the collectors bubble bursting, closing of multiple comic stores v. the Fantastic Four reboot and Age of Ultron). WHEW!

This Netflix original series era is the equivalent of the birth of Dark Horse and Image comics. It’s time to tell different stories that “Hollywood” won’t touch. With shows like Daredevil and movies like Deadpool and now Jessica Jones, we can assume we’re going to get a taste of something brand new and way more compelling than we’ve seen before.

Let’s do this thing.

Comic Con 2015 Stuff: I was NOT there! [Part 2]

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[Spoilers for Suicide Squad]

HERE IT IS!

Real screaming coming out of my mouth.

PROS

1) This is brand new. FINALLY. This is not a direct to video animated feature. It’s part of the DCCU, being released as a full length motion picture. A film about VILLAINS. And not just any villains, DC villains. (“The worst of the worst.”) I STILL can’t believe Viola Davis is Amanda Waller. Dreams really DO come true.

2) “Maybe Superman was some kind of beacon for them to creep back from the shadows” Further proof that these films are tied together. Whatever happens in Superman v. Batman affects this film and visa versa.

amanda

3) Amanda Waller. Amanda is not necessarily good– in fact she could be classified as more of a does bad things for HER greater good kinda gal. She’s a complex woman who understands the need for a Justice League but is also brutal enough to create another Batman. Amanda is the perfect example of a well written female character. ALSO VIOLA DAVIS.

“I want to assemble a task force of the most dangerous people on the planet. Maybe they can do some good.

“They’re bad guys.”

“Exactly. And if anything goes wrong we blame them, we have built in deniability.”

“What makes you think you can control them?”

Because getting people to act against their own self interest is what I do for a living

JUICY STUFF.

4) Harley Quinn. This is no damn damsel. Also the reference to her costume via her tattoos!

HQ1 HQ2

A second example of a well written female. It’s obvious from the trailer that both Waller and Harley are going to get a lot of screen time.

5) Jared Leto.

TJ

Holy shitake mushrooms. If that face doesn’t give you nightmares, nothing will.

Already he’s made the Joker his own. He sounds like a normal guy, it’s obvious he’s not trying to hide with neon green hair. It’s a brilliant reimagining of a modern day joker and it works so well.

CONS:

I got nothing. I really don’t. I’m dying to see this movie.

It doesn’t look like the Joker is the reason for Harley’s incarceration. She’s a gymnast/acrobat, there’s a hint that she is also already unhinged. I’m curious as to why she’s not only imprisoned but imprisoned with the worst of the worst. What could she have done? Also, what could Katana have done??

katana

Does Amanda blackmail her? Is she there as Amanda’s fail safe? ALSO WILL SMITH!

LC