You know what I want? I wish I could be watching Deadpool a third time instead of sitting on my butt at home typin’ this up. Because it was everything we could have wanted… *whispers* and mooooore

[Trigger warnings for Deadpool include: language, full frontal nudity, violence, gore, mutilation, torture, mentions of rape, pedophilia, past abuse]

This post has major spoilers and a lot of language. LET’S BEGIN!

How good does this trailer look? Doesn’t it look fucking hilarious? IT DOESN’T EVEN TOUCH THE FUCKIN’ FILM GUYS

Bullet points are our friends and make thing so much easier to read.

  • The opening “credits” set the tone for the film. A slow motion move within the utter chaos of a van in mid flip, full of cronies and Deadpool himself, complete with crotchshot. And the credits themselves? ‘Starring God’s Perfect Idiot, A Hot Chick, Comic Relief, then Written by The Real Heroes Here.’ ALREADY, you’re laughing your ass off for all the right reasons.
  • Even though Wade narrates through some of the film, they don’t forget that film is visual. It “reads” like a comic book. No bubbles stuffed with paragraphs of exposition and no paragraphs of boring ass dialogue. It balances the tragedy and hilarity that is Deadpool.
  • The fight scenes were kick ASS. They’re brutal and fucking hypnotic. Yeah Wade is a smart mouth and ass but oh yeah, HE’S HELLA GOOD AT KILLING YOUR ASS. The end fight with Ajax FUCKING francis will have you on the edge of your seat, especially knowing it’s super likely you’re about to see someone get their limb actually cut off.
  • Vanessa and Wade’s story is probably the most heart warming love story I’ve seen on film ever. In ANY genre. They bond over their terrible childhoods and the fact that they love having sex with each other. You see them fall in love and the sparklies in Wade’s eyes as he looks at Vanessa are wonderful to watch. Later, it’s heartbreaking when Wade just can’t face her with his mutilated face. She’ll love you anyway, Wade! GO TO HER! And when he does face her again, the tears were real, man. A healthy, sex drenched, foul mouthed relationship is the backbone and driving force of this film ❤
  • (“After a brief period, and a lot of drinks… it’s a face… I would love to sit on.” WHO’S HEART DIDN’T MELT WITH HAPPINESS?!? It was their version of “I don’t care what you look like, I love you.” It’s my favorite line in the movie.)
  • Fucking. FRANCIS. Fucking Francis. What a proper douche. What he does to Wade, with such glee by the way, is awful. The torture will make you wince and the fact that this is not a dumb villain, he gets his hands dirty multiple times but always slips away, is maddening. You’re SCREAMING at Wade to break his ass.
  • (When Wade says about Francis, “I’m gonna shoot him in the head then fuck the brain hole.” Trust me when I say, you will think, ‘you do that sir, you do that.’)
  • The soundtrack was hilarious and so painfully appropriate for Deadpool. Listen for his “theme song” in the middle of the film when he’s chasing down Francis’ cronies. I need that song in my LIFE.

What’s super great about this film is it can stand alone. Even if you’ve never read a DP comic in your life, you don’t need to, at all. If anything, this film will make you pick one up. This is the comic book movie for people who hate comic book movies. And love wise cracking gratuitous violence. 69/10 😉

ALSO watch and read all that promotional shit. all of it.